Sorry for missing so many days of recording my thoughts.
You know, sometimes, I don’t know how to start.
I told my friends and someone who care about me, 2009 is the most tough year for me. It was because of the direction of my own life not because I am really leading lives as Haiti people after the heavy earthquake.
I agree the idea that a man need something to depend on in his mind. You know, no matter you believe in God or Buddha, you have something to believe. But for me, since the start of 2009 until today, I have nothing to believe. This is the tough thing. When you have nothing to believe or chase, you don’t know what to do next.
I keep thinking of my life, my 27 years of life. Something I did wrong, something I did right. I feel I am the one that always hate myself. I hope I am perfect, no matter my face or my heart, no matter my work or my family life. But none is perfect. I said, you must accept who you are and love yourself. How to love? I always feel failure of my life. I cannot love the failed self though I accept.
Canon told me try to do some trade, he feels that I will be successful in some field. I promised him but I did nothing. I don’t know.
I know everyone may face such kind of problems. I believe every problem will not be what it seems to be. Go, Nana.
This is a crazy world, try not to be crazy.